Turning The Big 3-0 And Realizing No One Knows What They're Doing

I've always considered myself to be a badass. Even when I was 155-pounds heavier and felt uglier than ever, I've always had this blind, obnoxious confidence. Through high school I was the first one to jump in the water and swim out countless laps on our swimming team, when an audition came up I was the first to apply and sing my heart out, when I knew nothing about film photography I was the first to go out and actually take photos with it and went back to my teacher with film negatives. (The ironic thing about that is I'm now a Professional Photographer and who knew a roll of film in high school set me on that journey.) I've always been confident in my ability to be awesome. Despite the doubts I've had in myelf at times, I wake up each day feeling like a badass. Another ironic part is I'm currently reading "You're A Badass" by Jen Sincero and I already feel like I apply all of tose exercises to my daily life. A more in-depth review coming up on that in a few days, but in the meantime, I already feel pretty awesome about myself. I have my doubts from day to day, but I literally wake up each day with the mindset that I will achieve and accomplish anything I put my mind too. 

For example, I started my wedding photography business in 2011 with no knowledge of how to shoot a wedding. I plugged away, did low-budget weddings, took on tons of clients, and really practiced until I had my niche of being a fine art wedding photographer. I didn't even think about it, I literally just dove right in, while many of my friends were still taking classes trying to figure out what F-Stops were. Life is too short to be pondering your next move. If you want to be a wedding photographer, buy a decent camera, and go out there and start shooting weddings. It's not rocket science, half the battle is just doing it. The hard part is sitting there and pondering and hemming and hawing over it. I've never been a hemmer or a hawwer. I've always just been a person who isn't afraid to fail. If you fail, fail better. That is one of my favorite quotes that the actor John Hamm says a lot. Life isn't always going to be rainbows and unicorns, most of life is really hard, but you have to find the great moments through all of the hard stuff or else you'll become hard. I pride myself in being able to jump right in without thinking about it. What is thinking about it going to give you? Nothing? A win? No. A failure? No way. How will you win or fail if you don't actually do the things that scare the crap out of you? You have to do all the things and see which things work and which things don't work. When I started this blog last year, I was merely doing it to post about things that have helped me along the way and then this blog became a thing. People started to ask where my next post was and which recipe would I be debuting. People ask me for health and fitness advice and I think that's pretty cool! Someone told me I was an influencer which solidifies my hard work in doing all of this. Do you think running a health and wellness website all by yourself is easy? Not one bit. It's a lot of work that hopefully in the future will have big pay offs. 

I look at these people on Instagram and I realized the other day that no one actually knows what they're doing. We are all just faking it until we make it. Some people even fake it once they've made it. We are all just sharing our journey's with each other and I think that's pretty cool. Women helping other women instead of being in constant competition with each other. People asking me for weight loss advice because they do not know where to begin. Take the first step I say, don't think just do! Sometimes when my confidence get's shaken (which it does, I'm only human, insert Christina Perri reference here) I have to remind myself that at least I'm going out there and doing it. I walk the walk and I talk the talk and not very many people can say that about themselves. I say what I mean and I mean what I say and I always follow through. Here are the two most challenging things about a goal. Beginning and following through. You must begin in order to see the execution of the action you've started. You cannot just sit there and say you're going to do and never do it. How will you ever get what you want if you just sit there? I may not get everything I want, but I do get what I need. I get what is meant for me. 

I'm a huge believer in the universe gives us what we focus on. Have you ever read The Secret? If you haven't you need to click on that link I just gave you and go purchase it right now because it's the best book you'll ever read. It will get you out of that negative headspace and into the "I can be a badass and get everything I want of out life" mindset. 

I had deep fears about turning 30. I thought that if I haven't achieved all I want to acheieve by the time I'm thirty then I'm doing something wrong. I was totally off about that by the way. Nothing has changed since turning thirty at the beginning of this month other than my motivation to be awesome has tripled in size. I want to be leaner, better, stronger, faster than eer before. My motivation to get things done has exploded and I'm literally clearning all the clutter in my life. Literally, last night I got rid of three bags of clothing from my closet that I haven't worn in over a year. I'm purging every single room in my tiny 1920's home and doing a cleansing of sorts. Get rid of the old to make room for new energy and a new zest for life.

So far before turning 30 this is what's happened to be in my awful year of 29. 

I had a huge health scare that really set things on fire for me and changed my perpsetcive on everything. Life is too short, don't waste it on people or things you don't care about, Let me reiterate that, LIFE IS TOO SHORT! I'm 100% healthy, but that health scare put everything and everyone in my life into perspective for me. 

I took my health and wellness up a notch and it has become a second business for me. I have huge plans for thins website and I don't plan on stopping anytime soon. 

My wedding business and art has also been taken up on a notch. We only take on clients we really vibe with and who we can see a long lasting (beyong the wedding) relationship with. 

I've learned I sturggle with anxiety and I need fitness and eating clean in my life to help me manage my anxiety attacks. 

I've learned who my true friends and just how amazing my family really is. We rock at supporting one another and we are all in this together. 

Turning 30 has taught me a lot, be kind, be strong, don't take any crap from anyone, and always think postive. I'm off to go make a kick-ass waffle recipe for this blog and I'm going to keep on being a badass. 

Hello 30, I love you.