For years and years, I’ve tried controlling the end result. Convincing myself that if I did things one way or the other, the outcome would work in my favor. I tried to force the outcome I wanted and would chase people not meant for me. I would do things to impress people or say what I thought they wanted to hear simply to try get them to like me. It was a vicious circle of a roundabout that I was stuck in. Similar to a hamster stuck in a wheel going round and round and round, expecting and or hoping for a certain result.
The above scenario never works. I of course didn’t truly learn this until my 32-year on this planet, but I’m thankful I learned it before it was too late. I’m grateful I’ve learned that forcing something never works and that making up predictions and scenarios only add more anxiety and stress to a thing that doesn’t need stress. Let’s think about that for a second. How many times have you given something or someone energy that has then caused you unnecessary stress? How many times have we simply given our energy away to those who don’t deserve it? When you give people your power, you are essential giving them gold. The second you let someone else’s energy in the room affect yours, is the second you’ve lost.
Essentially, by letting someone else’s energy dictate your energy, you are telling them that they can validate themselves through you. People often project their stuff on you and none of it has anything to do with you. Although it’s hard not to take things personally when that happens. But once you realize that we are all going through this earth trying to do our best and approaching situations the best way we know how, you’ll learn that when someone try’s to control you it’s simply their way of attempting to gain or take back control when control has been lost.
I went to an influencer event recently that threw me so off balance it took me two weeks to finally get my footing back on track. But read that last statement; I let someone throw me off balance. Me. I gave the person all of my power. The person had no idea that they were taking their power from me and I did not even realize it until the next day. I was giving this random person all of my power. I could have psychically handed it to them on a plate and said, here you go, you can have it. Here’s my power. It’s all yours. Long story short, but basically another influencer at this event, took my phone right out of my hands and asked to look at my Instagram. And instead of telling her that she could not have my phone, I let her take it. Right there, in that exact moment, I gave her my power. I handed it to her on a silver platter and made it so easy that she use it against me the rest of the night. It was almost like being manipulated by a puppet for the rest of the evening and even for week for that matter, because I let her bug me. She got into my head and my self-confidence hit a wall and didn’t exist for week after. I let her say all of these ridiculous things about my Instagram, my blog, my cookbook, she may as well have walked into my life and told me everything I was doing wrong. That’s how much power I gave to her. How awful is it to have someone insult your work? Now, I take a lot of time to work on my Instagram and my blog and they are both my full time job. I spend ample time curating them and doing my best to authentically speak my truth. And when someone comes in and walks all over your work, it can be very demeaning and heartbreaking.
At first, I was outraged. I kept asking myself over and over again, but who does this person think she is?! The next day I sat with the frustration and realized that her insulting me was her validation. She gets power from putting other people down and controlling them. Once I realized this, it was a lot easier to let go. I wanted to control the outcome with this girl though. I wanted to see her again at another event and speak my mind, but what good would any of that do? Absolutely nothing. Manipulater’s are fantastic at turning every situation around on you. They do this by making you feel small and by attempting to control the outcome. Once you release that control though and let them do their thing and you realize that it is has absolutely nothing to do with you. You’ll stop controlling the outcome of it all. You’ll let go of what could be and you’ll release the need to try and control.
What are we doing when we try to control outcomes? We are trying to find a comfort zone where we feel safe and protected, because if we try and control the situation, will be able to predict the results and by predicting the results, we will gain the outcome we are hoping for. Most of the time though, controlling the outcome only makes things worse and causes you more stress and anxiety long-term. Forcing the end result of situations has a polarizing affect where it can do the opposite. If you try and force outcomes, sometimes the opposite result will take place. What you wanted to happen won't and what you didn’t want to happen will. The universe knows when we are forcing things to happen and forcing what we want to happen. It will send us a different result because one it’s teaching us a lesson and two, it’s telling us that we are not yet ready for that outcome. The universe always knows.
The divine timing of everything is all that it is. Timing. Things will come to us where are fully ready for them and no amount of forcing, shoving, poking, and prodding is going to do anything. The outcome has been decided for us long before we made the decision. Trust the timing of it all. Trust the universe and the process. Trust that everything will work out exactly the way it’s supposed to and always in your favor. And when things don’t work out the way they are supposed too, trust that it’s the universe’s way of protecting you.
For years and years, I’ve tried controlling the end result. Convincing myself that if I did things one way or the other, the outcome would work in my favor. I tried to force the outcome I wanted and would chase people not meant for me. I would do things to impress people or say what I thought they wanted to hear simply to try get them to like me. It was a vicious circle of a roundabout that I was stuck in. Similar to a hamster stuck in a wheel going round and round and round, expecting and or hoping for a certain result.
The above scenario never works. I of course didn’t truly learn this until my 32-year on this planet, but I’m thankful I learned it before it was too late. I’m grateful I’ve learned that forcing something never works and that making up predictions and scenarios only add more anxiety and stress to a thing that doesn’t need stress. Let’s think about that for a second. How many times have you given something or someone energy that has then caused you unnecessary stress? How many times have we simply given our energy away to those who don’t deserve it? When you give people your power, you are essential giving them gold. The second you let someone else’s energy in the room affect yours, is the second you’ve lost.
Essentially, by letting someone else’s energy dictate your energy, you are telling them that they can validate themselves through you. People often project their stuff on you and none of it has anything to do with you. Although it’s hard not to take things personally when that happens. But once you realize that we are all going through this earth trying to do our best and approaching situations the best way we know how, you’ll learn that when someone try’s to control you it’s simply their way of attempting to gain or take back control when control has been lost.
I went to an influencer event recently that threw me so off balance it took me two weeks to finally get my footing back on track. But read that last statement; I let someone throw me off balance. Me. I gave the person all of my power. The person had no idea that they were taking their power from me and I did not even realize it until the next day. I was giving this random person all of my power. I could have psychically handed it to them on a plate and said, here you go, you can have it. Here’s my power. It’s all yours. Long story short, but basically another influencer at this event, took my phone right out of my hands and asked to look at my Instagram. And instead of telling her that she could not have my phone, I let her take it. Right there, in that exact moment, I gave her my power. I handed it to her on a silver platter and made it so easy that she use it against me the rest of the night. It was almost like being manipulated by a puppet for the rest of the evening and even for week for that matter, because I let her bug me. She got into my head and my self-confidence hit a wall and didn’t exist for week after. I let her say all of these ridiculous things about my Instagram, my blog, my cookbook, she may as well have walked into my life and told me everything I was doing wrong. That’s how much power I gave to her. How awful is it to have someone insult your work? Now, I take a lot of time to work on my Instagram and my blog and they are both my full time job. I spend ample time curating them and doing my best to authentically speak my truth. And when someone comes in and walks all over your work, it can be very demeaning and heartbreaking.
At first, I was outraged. I kept asking myself over and over again, but who does this person think she is?! The next day I sat with the frustration and realized that her insulting me was her validation. She gets power from putting other people down and controlling them. Once I realized this, it was a lot easier to let go. I wanted to control the outcome with this girl though. I wanted to see her again at another event and speak my mind, but what good would any of that do? Absolutely nothing. Manipulater’s are fantastic at turning every situation around on you. They do this by making you feel small and by attempting to control the outcome. Once you release that control though and let them do their thing and you realize that it is has absolutely nothing to do with you. You’ll stop controlling the outcome of it all. You’ll let go of what could be and you’ll release the need to try and control.
What are we doing when we try to control outcomes? We are trying to find a comfort zone where we feel safe and protected, because if we try and control the situation, will be able to predict the results and by predicting the results, we will gain the outcome we are hoping for. Most of the time though, controlling the outcome only makes things worse and causes you more stress and anxiety long-term. Forcing the end result of situations has a polarizing affect where it can do the opposite. If you try and force outcomes, sometimes the opposite result will take place. What you wanted to happen won't and what you didn’t want to happen will. The universe knows when we are forcing things to happen and forcing what we want to happen. It will send us a different result because one it’s teaching us a lesson and two, it’s telling us that we are not yet ready for that outcome. The universe always knows.
The divine timing of everything is all that it is. Timing. Things will come to us where are fully ready for them and no amount of forcing, shoving, poking, and prodding is going to do anything. The outcome has been decided for us long before we made the decision. Trust the timing of it all. Trust the universe and the process. Trust that everything will work out exactly the way it’s supposed to and always in your favor. And when things don’t work out the way they are supposed too, trust that it’s the universe’s way of protecting you.
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