I'm standing in my kitchen at 3am attempting to eat a pint of Hagen Daas Peanut Butter Chocolate Ice Cream, staring at my cat Lucca, and remembering that time in second grade when I walked out of the classroom for recess to meet my friend who I assumed was waiting for me at the pole with her peanut butter jelly sandwich in hand, only to find out she no longer wanted to spend recess with me anymore. "I don't want to eat with you anymore, I'm going to go eat with Nicole now," I remember tears welling up in my eyes, I ran into the bathroom stall, eating lunch alone, feeling like the loneliest girl in the world with tears streaming down my face. I went home crying to my Dad asking him why Amanda didn't like me anymore. And he point-blankly said, "Because that's life kid, not everyone's going to like you and that's a good thing!" I remember thinking my dad was crazy at the time. Flash forward to me being 30-years-old now and you know what? He's right! It only took 27 years for me to realize it, but that has been some of the best advice my dad has ever given me.
If you're anything like me, you probably scroll through Instagram wondering if the accounts who follow you actually like you. Well, this use to be me before I turned 30 and had an epiphany one day that it didn't matter at all if they liked me. What matters is if I like me. Some days I would look at other bloggers and see their interactions with each other and yearn to be apart of their "it-club." Instagram started feeling like high-school and less like that place I would refer to as a community. It was at that moment, I realized I needed to stop caring whether or not anyone liked me. I needed to focus on myself and love myself. And you know what? Everything changed. All those bloggers who once ignored me started interacting with me. those "it-girls" started coming to me for advice and started asking me questions. I realized that I was putting out an energy that wasn't welcoming and it was not until I truly started to love myself, that I gave and continue to give off some really positive vibes. Everything changed for me, it was as if I moved out my own way and paved the way for new opportunities. Doors opened, birds chirped, and all of the sudden I was flooded with all the love.
But with all this new found love comes a trickle of jealousy too. Does everyone like me? No. Are people online mean and do condescending digs? All the time. Do I pay attention to it anymore? Not even a little but. I simply don't care if other's like me because I LOVE MYSELF. Yup. I did in all caps because it's true. You cannot get upset when other's don't like you, because my darling, most people don't even like themselves. There's a reason that quote when viral on the internet overnight because it's true. Most people wake up in the morning, say something gross about themselves to themselves in the mirror and continue this negative mindset all day long, dragging everyone else in the mud along with them. I wake up in the morning, look at myself the mirror and say: "Damn girl, you are gorgeous, and today is going to be amazing!" And it works, not only does it work, but I find myself dancing and singing throughout the day and having a really good time, by myself. Does anyone watch my IG stories? If you do, then you'll see all the dancing!
Loving yourself is the only way to truly be free. Let go what other's may or may not think of you and just do you and when you do you, OWN IT! If you do it, say it, be it, stand behind it and own it. Give yourself an air-kiss in the mirror everything morning and tell yourself how amazing you are, beause you are amazing! Stop asking for permissiona and start sharing your amazingness with the world!
Love yourself and doors you never thought possible will open far and wide!
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